Orlando - Is it Funny When Life's Not Funny?

Z!TV is an entertainment blog. I don’t cover hard news. When the news is too hard, I like things that are easy.

It's why I always bought the Cliff's Notes in junior high and high school (I may love reading, but I’m a concubine to procrastination).

There is nothing good about the tragedy in Orlando. It's exactly because of that that people look for the good – the survivors, the heroism, the givers, the rallyers, and the community that's brought together.

I, however, have a habit of looking at what's wrong in a situation.  Which brings me to:

What has happened in Orlando is just the beginning. Our leadership is weak and ineffective. I called it and asked for the ban. Must be tough

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 12, 2016

"He called it and asked for a ban"? He called that a guy born here and living here for 29 years would freak out in Orlando? Well, why the aych-e-double hockey sticks didn't he tell anybody? Re: "the ban." Apparently Donald's "ban" means jumping into a DeLorean with the Doc and traveling back to a time when the world was laughing with the cast of Mr. Belvedere. Well, OK, they were watching Mr. Belvedere…and the Orlando killer was born in NYC.

On Facebook he posted: "...Hillary Clinton – for months and despite so many attacks – repeatedly refused to even say the words 'radical Islam,' until I challenged her yesterday to say the words or leave the race."

He's right. This is true. But the reason the President and Secretary Clinton have tried to avoid the phrase is because the people of our occasionally great nation conflate all Muslims with radical Islamists. The merits of this can be debated until we're all orange-basketball-color in the face, but I do side with Trump on thi

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Sorry for that odd interruption. Upon realizing I was agreeing with Donald, I tossed myself out a window and, after receiving multiple cuts and abrasions, was having some tendon issues in my hand. It's OK. I got me $ome Obamacare (ahem)...

Donald the Dud also wrote: "Hillary Clinton…[plans] to disarm law-abiding Americans, abolishing the 2nd amendment, and leaving only the bad guys and terrorists with guns."

Nope. Just assault rifles. The idea is to just slow down terrorists to shooting only, like, 9 or 10 people every 12 seconds. This does seem like a…I guess the word would be "reasonable" request in theory. I do not portend to be a constitutional scholar, so perhaps there's a line in it, or within an amendment, which reads "And lo' shall all be free to splay bodies upon the ground at an approximation to four-ty and of up to fif-ty per minute."

Yes, I would never want  to pretend I know of things of which I do not...

Appreciate the congrats for being right on radical Islamic terrorism, I don't want congrats, I want toughness & vigilance. We must be smart!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 12, 2016

Donald, like any self-effacing gentlemanly scholar of tact and aplomb was so shy about being "right," that he tweeted about it within hours of the shooting. Within hours.

And was wrong as it turns out.

The L.A. Times was the first to report that the shooter – yes, a very religious Muslim and a radical (but not radicalized by Isil) – was actually a semi-regular visitor to the gay club he attacked. He also had a gay meetup app on his phone. He even called his father a few months ago to complain about seeing gay men kissing on the street – sure, some people are uncomfy with that, but to call your pop?  

All of that calling and complaining sounds to me like someone was hoping for some sign of approval from dearest Dad. And a person with that much self-hate is bound to explode. By that reckoning, I'm fairly certain this means Donald is just about ready to implode. It's pretty rare to see something implode. The closest I’ve ever come to that was watching my kitty daintily eat her own throw-up.

Speaking of throw-up, Donald said the following in a speech given on June 14…I've inserted, in italics, what he should have said but didn't.

"The bottom line is that the only reason the killer was in America in the first place was because we allowed his family to come here more than 30 years ago, at which time I was working very closely with the NYC Mafia to ensure that my buildings were being built almost 80% up to code. Or, like, at least half that.

"We have a dysfunctional immigration system which does not permit us to know who we let into our country, and it does not permit us to protect our citizens. I'm excluding the current vetting process we do for Syrian immigrants, which can take as many as 40 months and requires interviews with no less than 9 different intelligence groups – including domestic and foreign. Um…I'm not even sure what half these words mean. I don't own a dictionary, I don't want a dictionary, and I am building a wall. I am building a wall. Yes, I am building...a...wall. Out of dictionaries.

"I called for a ban after San Bernardino, and was met with great scorn and anger but now, many are saying I was right to do so -- and although the pause is temporary, we must find out what is going on, because, honestly, I don't know. I mean, come on, folks, unless the news is showing my face, I don't watch it. Why do you think I sit here in my tub with my milk of magnesia and bath salt mixture and call all the news networks? Anyway, back to the point: I have no idea what's going on around the world. And I delight in proving this to people who have even less of an idea than me. It makes me happy. And it might even put me in the White House. Baba Booey!"

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More to read:
Time magazine details the Syrian refugee screening process:
http://time.com/4116619/syrian-refugees-screening-process/

Donald Trump's June 14 speech on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DonaldTrump/posts/10157163861635725:0

Donald Trump's Politifact page:

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