Lena Dunham Secures 'Girls' -- It's a Scandal!

Lena Dunham stunned the Internet this week when she admitted to being a child and, while being a child, did strange, even stupid, things.

Dunham at her MOST offensive

Dunham apparently admits in her recently published memoir that she, like many children, was curious about all them parts we boys and girls have. Dunham, wondering a bit about the girl parts, at the randy age of 7, apparently took a moment to sneak a peek at her baby sister when mom wasn't looking. According to Dunham's book, the HBO star "spread open [the baby's] vagina."

Awkward and a little creepy, no doubt. But, at 7, this kind of curiosity is normal, and the expression of it almost never is.

Sexually repressed, and apparently very jealous writer, Kevin Williamson was the person who called Dunham out as a sexual offender in an article which starts off by implying Dunham shouldn't be trusted because she grew up in a very expensive home in New York City.

Keep in mind, of course, this is a man with some serious, some really, really serious anger issues.

Adults around the world who pretended that they've never had awkward sexual (pre-)adolescent situations (the kind which coined the phrase "You show me yours, I'll show you mine" and are depicted in "Free to Be You And Me"...by babies) were offended.

In defense of the accusers, Dunham went on to say she, later on in life, would bribe her little sis with three pieces of candy if she would allow her to "kiss her on the lips for five seconds." Her apparently tone deaf editor, forgetting that she was editing the words of a 28-year-old who, like most, can't think beyond the now, allowed Ms. Dunham to then explain that she was doing "anything a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl."

So, yeah, this started a Twitter shit-storm in Lena Dunham's general direction. A shit-storm of accusers, victims, activists, and also a few people who wanted to know if she was that character "Seven," the little blonde boy who popped up in a few annoying episodes of Married with Children.

Dunham explained, in a simple Twitter reply, that the accusations are "really fucking ... disgusting."

But what's most telling is that the first place Lena turned to the next day to make a statement was Time magazine — owned by the same company which owns HBO, the home of Dunham's overrated series, Girls.

Sounds like there may have been a conversation which had to do with securing Dunham's HBO show for the future. You can read the Time magazine statement here. Or you can read our completely phony summary, coming tomorrow.

-30-
Image used for parody purposes.