Kaley Kuoco Hates America, Loves Dogs, Hates Twitter; Us Weeky Hates Hayden; Marvel Hates White People

Time to catch your Z's with this week's updates on entertainment newzzz!...

And the big news this Fourth of July was not that the FBI isn't indicting Secretary Clinton (what they should do is indict the IT department and every senator and member of the Joint Chiefs who interacted with her since all of them by virtue of e-mailing her would have been aware of her non-government e-mail address)...

No, the big news is that Kaley Kuoco hates the United States of America. Kuoco, star of CBS's series The Big Bang Theory -- the story of four 50-year-old nerds who pretend to be in their 30s but act like they're in their teens -- tweeted an image that her doggy-sitter apparently took of one of her dogs squatting comfortably on an American flag.

Kaley Cuoco's Instagram via Page Six

According to Fox News, the Internet blew up into a flurry so big you'd have thought her dogs were burning the flag. Which, by the way, is totally legal. (Well, I mean, there might be laws prohibiting dogs from using flammable materials, but aside from that...)

Kuoco has since penned a completely unnecessary apology. No, not for the ridiculousness of the Internet and the people on it, but for the carelessness of the photo.

Perhaps the people on the Internet will grow up as soon as The Big Bang Theory stars stop treating them like children.

In other news, Us Weekly offered a "Health Update" on Hayden Panettiere on their website. According to the publication's health consultants, Ms. Panettiere -- recently out of rehab -- is not wearing her engagement ring. 

How exactly this is an update on the star's wellness eludes me, but then I'm no health professional. Not like those PhDs over at Us Weekly.

In Taylor Swift news...

Fourth of July
Tom Hiddleston
Bathing Suits
Hubba-Hubba
Tom Hiddleston
Fuck Kanye.

Us Weekly has also reported that PeTA has announced its sexiest vegans. Liam Hemsworth and singer Aiko win the prize (that prize being a tofu and hayseed pizza topped with alfalfa and ginger spice [Not the singer from the Spice Girls]). 

Both celebs report feeling better since going vegan. Aiko herself stated: "It's a lot of work to live like that ... I have to work on it daily." Apparently, Aiko has never tried to steal a baby calf from its mother then cut it up into slabs of meat. That's a much harder work day, I'll tell you. 

Us Weekly added that past winners of PeTA's vegan prize have been Ellen Page, Kristen Bell, Jared Leto, Jessica Chastain and Russell Brand. Yes, a vegan potluck orgy I think we'd all like to attend. 

Marvel has announced that there's a new Iron Man. And it's a black woman. What will inevitably follow throughout the Internetiverse is a horde of "Iron Maiden" puns, comments, and headlines. 

The story has something to do with Tony Stark -- who dresses as the iron hero whose powers come from his futuristic suit of armor -- whose attention is caught by a teen genius that builds her own Iron Man suit.  And, um, she starts saving people or something I guess.

According to comic book scribe Brian Michael Bendis, in an interview with Time Magazine, Marvel has been "slowly and hopefully very organically adding all these new [diverse] characters to the Marvel Universe."

Yes, it's true. There's been a white blonde female Thor (formerly a white blonde male), a Muslim Ms. Marvel (formerly a while blonde female), an Hispanic Spider-Man (formerly an average brunette white male), and now a black Iron Man (formerly a brunette white male and then a black male and then the white male again). 

It's like someone took the Marvel Universe to a diversity course at the corporate retreat and then waterboarded them until they changed all the familiar characters into characters they should've come up with 40 to 60 years ago.

Over in the DC Comics universe, Batman is still white, and doing away with all that gay talk by working with his bastard son (true story!), Superman is still hopelessly boring, the Flash is still fighting for the rights of the dozen or so super-fast people in society who are uncertain which bathroom in which they can zip and unzip, and Wonder Woman has finally come out of the closet from her island of Lesbos. 

Hey, at least they're trying. 

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The Flash Movie - New Suit For Justice League Movie? Or Is This A Pride Parade?

You can scroll down for The Flash images & info.

 

Z!TV isn't here to break news. The news is already broken. Especially entertainment news.

Warner Bros. is great at media control. They and their subsid DC try to ensure that all of the news printed by comics websites and Access Hollywood and the like is ALL positive.

However, as we've learned, when your big mid-Spring-because-we-didn't-want-to-chance-a-summer-release superhero movie is given, on a scale from 1 to 100, an average of "shit stain," you better rally the troops.

Z!TV has confirmed that, for WB, those WB troops include folks who Tweet and comment on fan boards for them, people who are hired simply to try and turn the negative tide.

So if you were to visit, say, FanboyDrooling.com (don't Google it -- we made it up [but it's ours! Don't steal it!]), and you wanted to see the awesome trailer review for Batman v. OJ Simpson (gosh, they both stab people now, it's so hard to say who'd win), you might read the article, then scroll down to the comments.

Amidst those comments, right after Grif posts "Awful!" and Blackfist posts "FIRST!," you might see a post which reads as follows:

And, yeah, that person just might've posted over 1,000 times in two weeks.

Which means you've found a WB hired gun.

And before you assume I'm just a cynical Archie Comics fan, disappointed that there hasn't yet been a "Life with Kevin" porn parody, understand: There aren't any Archie Comics fans.

But let's put all of that aside. We've a new movie to whine about before seeing even one frame, a new try at the whole DC Superhero franchise thing. Yes, Justice League is on its way! And a small film production company, Film House, located in upstate N.Y. (with offices in L.A.), may have posted on its site the first image of The Flash. This image is found under the section Portfolio > Films.

On the site, the photo is titled "FLASH" and captioned simply "currently in production."

FilmHouse has not responded to inquiries regarding the below image. So, you know, this could all just be bunk. But outsourcing costume design, especially one which may need a variety of SFX, isn't unusual.

However, since this is a humor blog, I'm not one to feel that a picture says a thousand words. So I've decided to let the word balloons do that. Enjoy. And thanks for reading...

SHARE Using this LINK: http://itsztv.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-flash-movie-new-suit.html 

Or check out the rest of the Z!TV comedy news blog! 

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Entertainment News for 6/17/2016 - Time To Catch Your Zs!

Orange is the New Black, Rick Gervais, a Wicked announcement and more. Sit back and Catch Your Zs, because it's Z!TV -- the last thing you need to know.


Ricky Gervais has announced he’s officially run out of ideas as the new trailer for his The Office spin-off hits the web. Meanwhile, Netflix, in a $10M deal, has agreed to purchase and air Gervais' excrement (aka, the new David Brent series, alluded to above).

11 million excited Netflix fans have renewed their subscriptions based solely on the news of the availability of Gervais' waste. However, 7 million have contacted Netflix asking, "Didn't we already see Ricky's Hershey squirts under the name 'Special Correspondents'?"

The news that’s breaking the Internet the last couple of days – Taylor Swift was seen kissing Marvel’s Loki, Tom Hiddleston. And, more recently, taking off for parts unknown in Swift's private jet, according to TMZ.

Entertainment Tonight says Swift and Hiddleston "hit it off" and were getting "hot and heavy." Entertainment Weekly said the two were "cuddling up." I see it as: The canoodling couple was caught carrying on while copping a feel on scores of occasions with no care nor concern for Calvin. 

Calvin being Calvin Harris. Swift’s fairly recent ex who has tweeted -- about 46 times in the last 24 hours – details of a Rihanna video dropping today in which he did something or other (nobody's watching it for him). If you're wondering what Calvin Harris does for a living, don't sweat it. His parents are wondering the same thing.

In other news, Universal Studios has announced a deal to bring the hit musical Wicked to the big screen. No announcement on the cast, because we’re pretty sure Hollywood has determined original Broadway stars Kristen Chenoweth and Idina Menzel too old and/or not "leading lady material." To which we say, fuck, Hollywood, seriously? Still with this tired, old argument? 

Our predictions: Pitch Perfect Co-Stars Anna Kendrick as The Wicked Witch and Rebel Wilson as The Good Witch. 

Alternatively: Jennifer Lawrence as The Wicked Witch and, very possibly, as The Good Witch, Jennifer Lawrence. ...I'm hanging my head in shame...(because I'm probably right).
 

Orange is the New Black Season 4 premieres today on Netflix. The Hollywood Reporter has printed a binge-watching guide for ideas on how to marathon-view this season. 

We'd like to offer the following tip for those who plan on catching up: 

Watch seasons 1 and 2 and then, in lieu of season 3, rewatch seasons 1 and 2...which is pretty much what the writers of season 3 did. Minus the American Pie dude. (No, really, the dude from American Pie is in this show about women in prison. Isn't that crazy? There he was, with his schvantz in an apple pie and, years later, he's in a drama about losing his GF to the prison system. Well, you know, until they wrote him out of the show, presumably to cut costs. With a pedigree like American Pie, American Pie 2, and American Reunion, you probably don't come cheap to Netflix. Just ask Ricky Gervais' poopy-doos.)

In legal news, Z!TV would like to formally apologize for the poop jokes. Sorry, mom. I won't do it again. 

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Orlando - Is it Funny When Life's Not Funny?

Z!TV is an entertainment blog. I don’t cover hard news. When the news is too hard, I like things that are easy.

It's why I always bought the Cliff's Notes in junior high and high school (I may love reading, but I’m a concubine to procrastination).

There is nothing good about the tragedy in Orlando. It's exactly because of that that people look for the good – the survivors, the heroism, the givers, the rallyers, and the community that's brought together.

I, however, have a habit of looking at what's wrong in a situation.  Which brings me to:

What has happened in Orlando is just the beginning. Our leadership is weak and ineffective. I called it and asked for the ban. Must be tough

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 12, 2016

"He called it and asked for a ban"? He called that a guy born here and living here for 29 years would freak out in Orlando? Well, why the aych-e-double hockey sticks didn't he tell anybody? Re: "the ban." Apparently Donald's "ban" means jumping into a DeLorean with the Doc and traveling back to a time when the world was laughing with the cast of Mr. Belvedere. Well, OK, they were watching Mr. Belvedere…and the Orlando killer was born in NYC.

On Facebook he posted: "...Hillary Clinton – for months and despite so many attacks – repeatedly refused to even say the words 'radical Islam,' until I challenged her yesterday to say the words or leave the race."

He's right. This is true. But the reason the President and Secretary Clinton have tried to avoid the phrase is because the people of our occasionally great nation conflate all Muslims with radical Islamists. The merits of this can be debated until we're all orange-basketball-color in the face, but I do side with Trump on thi

j~;m\3$dQbl_eu_oK#hZYb9bQYVG*@P8(v~&.ZJL+]+z-d-d-d-d-d-..  .. . .

Sorry for that odd interruption. Upon realizing I was agreeing with Donald, I tossed myself out a window and, after receiving multiple cuts and abrasions, was having some tendon issues in my hand. It's OK. I got me $ome Obamacare (ahem)...

Donald the Dud also wrote: "Hillary Clinton…[plans] to disarm law-abiding Americans, abolishing the 2nd amendment, and leaving only the bad guys and terrorists with guns."

Nope. Just assault rifles. The idea is to just slow down terrorists to shooting only, like, 9 or 10 people every 12 seconds. This does seem like a…I guess the word would be "reasonable" request in theory. I do not portend to be a constitutional scholar, so perhaps there's a line in it, or within an amendment, which reads "And lo' shall all be free to splay bodies upon the ground at an approximation to four-ty and of up to fif-ty per minute."

Yes, I would never want  to pretend I know of things of which I do not...

Appreciate the congrats for being right on radical Islamic terrorism, I don't want congrats, I want toughness & vigilance. We must be smart!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 12, 2016

Donald, like any self-effacing gentlemanly scholar of tact and aplomb was so shy about being "right," that he tweeted about it within hours of the shooting. Within hours.

And was wrong as it turns out.

The L.A. Times was the first to report that the shooter – yes, a very religious Muslim and a radical (but not radicalized by Isil) – was actually a semi-regular visitor to the gay club he attacked. He also had a gay meetup app on his phone. He even called his father a few months ago to complain about seeing gay men kissing on the street – sure, some people are uncomfy with that, but to call your pop?  

All of that calling and complaining sounds to me like someone was hoping for some sign of approval from dearest Dad. And a person with that much self-hate is bound to explode. By that reckoning, I'm fairly certain this means Donald is just about ready to implode. It's pretty rare to see something implode. The closest I’ve ever come to that was watching my kitty daintily eat her own throw-up.

Speaking of throw-up, Donald said the following in a speech given on June 14…I've inserted, in italics, what he should have said but didn't.

"The bottom line is that the only reason the killer was in America in the first place was because we allowed his family to come here more than 30 years ago, at which time I was working very closely with the NYC Mafia to ensure that my buildings were being built almost 80% up to code. Or, like, at least half that.

"We have a dysfunctional immigration system which does not permit us to know who we let into our country, and it does not permit us to protect our citizens. I'm excluding the current vetting process we do for Syrian immigrants, which can take as many as 40 months and requires interviews with no less than 9 different intelligence groups – including domestic and foreign. Um…I'm not even sure what half these words mean. I don't own a dictionary, I don't want a dictionary, and I am building a wall. I am building a wall. Yes, I am building...a...wall. Out of dictionaries.

"I called for a ban after San Bernardino, and was met with great scorn and anger but now, many are saying I was right to do so -- and although the pause is temporary, we must find out what is going on, because, honestly, I don't know. I mean, come on, folks, unless the news is showing my face, I don't watch it. Why do you think I sit here in my tub with my milk of magnesia and bath salt mixture and call all the news networks? Anyway, back to the point: I have no idea what's going on around the world. And I delight in proving this to people who have even less of an idea than me. It makes me happy. And it might even put me in the White House. Baba Booey!"

--

More to read:
Time magazine details the Syrian refugee screening process:
http://time.com/4116619/syrian-refugees-screening-process/

Donald Trump's June 14 speech on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DonaldTrump/posts/10157163861635725:0

Donald Trump's Politifact page:

Click Me!

Entertainment News – It’s Time To Catch Your Zs with Z!TV

It was reported that Kanye West fans stormed a club in NYC at 2am when he tweeted about a pop-up concert there. Police had to call backup to control and disperse the crowd, because it was so huge. Due to the size of the crowd, Kanye called off the concert. Which sent said crowd into a frenzy.

All of this just going to prove that, apparently, a LOT of people in NYC had no idea Kanye was anything but an Internet celeb and very clearly have never actually seen or heard him sing before.

@JK_Rowling, according to Us Weekly, says people angry at the casting of a black woman for her Harry Potter character Hermione (in an upcoming stage play) must be racist. I have an alternative take: Maybe, just maybe, some of those people saw one or two of those Harry Potter movies and are just used to a white person in the role and think that it’s stunt casting and/or a way to shoehorn in some (much-needed) diversity in a group of characters Rowling herself wrote as very, very, very white.

Ah, but, according to USA Today, Rowling says "Canon: brown eyes, frizzy hair and very clever. White skin was never specified. Rowling loves black Hermione."

But Rowling herself was an executive producer on the films and repeatedly told fans at the time that the films were very faithful to her books. Apparently, Rowling has become such a prolific writer, she's been able to rewrite history!

Admitted lothario, ladykiller and professional God impersonator, Morgan Freeman, told a crowd at a TV producers’ conference that his female producing partner “doesn’t want to be thought of as a pretty face … but you can’t get away from [her] short dresses.” This according to The Hollywood Reporter.

For that and other comments, we’ve officially awarded Freeman the 2016 Bill Cosby Skeeviness Award. Please be sure to congratulate one-time big-screen president with the hashtag #2016BillCosbyAward.

@PaulFeig, director of the new female Ghostbusters movie, said that the Ghostbusters haters are misogynistic. Many, many of their comments surely are. But an unfunny trailer remains unfunny. We've an example of a FUNNY female cast movie trailer -- Feig just might recognize it:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNppLrmdyug

As a bonus, here’re some other female-focused movie trailers, also funny:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAOmTMCtGkI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKLSfnb-FMk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNbPnqyvItk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYPnUrREbRg

RELATED!: @JuddApatow says: #Ghostbusters haters are @realDonaldTrump supporters.

It’s weird that Apatow assumes they know how to turn on a computer. 

In response to Apatow, Twitterers tweeted links to all of Apatow's funny movies:







Huh. Yeah, weird...We can't see any links either.