Yes, this is what Manny Pacquiao is learning, with lawsuits being filed against him following the "fight of the century" -- Mayweather vs. Pacquiao. The fight saw two welter-weight fighters, about 10 years past their prime, face off against one another in 12 rounds of really bad ballroom dancing.
Manny Pantrynow has, according to E! Online, had a class-action lawsuit filed against hi-- oops, TMZ has just reported another one has been filed. The two suits were filed against Manny PacManOw, because -- uh-oh...looks like a third one was filed. Oh, wait. this just in: Third lawsuit was filed against Floyd Mayweather. More on that later.
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| Mayweather vs. Ormphby - FALL 2015! |
The class-action suits against Manny Pantyhow state that anyone who bought tix to the fight, watched it on cable, bought a beer while viewing it at a bar, spent gas driving to or from a Dick's Sporting Goods, or ever uttered the word "fist" while paying a sex worker is owed money because Manny Patchybrow wasn’t fighting at 100%.
See, Manny Pellegrino went through with the fight in spite of a reported shoulder injury which was reportedly reported to the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency who later reported that his fighting was AOK, but the NSAC reportedly felt the reporting was not OK.
For those not keeping up, a quick Google search reveals the NSAC is the National Sustainable Agriculture Coalition. They advocate for federal reform on natural food-- hm. That can’t be right.
OK, the second result on Google states the NSAC is the National Spiritualist Association of Churches. They believe in "joy, harmony" and something I can only find out by following the Google link, which I’ve not done.
Hm.
Alright, the next Google result states the Nuclear Science Advisory Committee will--
Alright, well whatever the NSAC is, it said no to Manny PeterParkero taking a truckload of drugs to make his shoulder feel like it was at 100%, even though it was at 40% at best, and Manny Practicenow says it was going at 60%, and Louie the Tick says he lost revenues of about 38% of what he could've made and "legs'll be busted."
While a rematch is already in the works for a Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight, Pacquiao v Stupid Fight Fans will probably hit right around the time Batman v Superman underperforms at the box office.
In other news, Floyd Mayweather, convicted wife-beater and multi-millionaire who defended Ray Rice for punching the makeup off his wife in an elevator, is not being sued by fans. Fans support him completely, because any man who can beat the shit out of a woman and a Filipino is AOK in their book.
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| Even Don Draper Thinks Mayweather's An Asshole (Yeah, this is an advertisement for a video we've got coming THIS weekend!) |
He is however being sued for $20M in a defamation suit by his ex girlfriend. Mayweather, whose name we won't get wrong, because we want everyone to remember the name of the guy who beat his girlfriend in front of her children (this, according to E! and Mayweather's own guilty plea), spent 60 of 90 days in jail for the attack. Clearly a fair and just punishment for a trained fighter slamming his fist into a human being one-half his size and 1/8 his strength.
Floyd "The Girl Puncher" MayWeather recently told Katie Couric -- who also didn't believe a damned word Mayweather said on the subject (see video, note her voiceover) -- that he was restraining his ex-gal, because she was on drugs.
We believe she was on drugs. Sure, why not. If I had to be around Floyd Mayweather, I'd toke up to say the least. (More likely, I'd be downing some Ambien, but whatever.)
But we're more likely to believe Mayweather likes to beat people up. Now, we haven't much proof of this (43-0, 26 KOs), it's only a guess ("Mayweather Guilty of Battery"), but we're pretty sure it's a pretty good theory.
Now, if only Manny Patsyfrown can get that shoulder fixed (and replaced with bionics) in time for the next fight.
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Photos used for parody purposes.
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