Showing posts with label hollywood gossip. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hollywood gossip. Show all posts

Friday, March 18, 2016

Blake Shelton Doesn't Drink Too Much (Wait, Is It Opposite Day?)


Someone Was Clearly Running
with Scissors.
No Matter How Small We
Make This Image, the
Headline Can  Be Seen
From Space.



In an eye-opening, liquor-swilling, gullet-guzzling interview with singer, songwriter, The Voice host, and drunken Gwen Stefani hair dresser, Blake Shelton is seen swigging alcohol from a mason jar while telling Entertainment Tonight "reporter" Nancy O'Dell that his drinking is just part of the relationship he has with his fans, that it's all an act.


O'Dell for her part laughs along with him at the joke, except for the one moment where she clearly got a whiff of his breath:

Um...yeah. No caption required.


Last year, magazine-nobody-admits-to-buying InTouch Weekly covered Shelton with the
bright yellow sans-serif bold 123-font-size headline "Rehab for Blake." Shelton was not pleased, and, after downing a couple of bottles of Wild Turkey with a 6-pack chaser, Shelton filed a declaration.

In the declaration, Shelton denies ever being in rehab and, further, denies having been drunk at the time/places In Touch indicates, denies drinking with over-indulgence, denies ever being so drunk that he cheated on ex-wife Mini-Mate figure Miranda Lambert, denies walking through lobbies drunk, drinking before 11 a.m., drinking in photos on Twitter where he himself declared himself drunk, and even knowing how to pronounce the word "Alcohol."

A recent picture of Shelton from The Voice may indicate otherwise:
Shelton Considers Another "The Voice" Contestant and
Face Transplant Reject.

Z!TV has done its due diligence -- as always -- and obtained a copy of the declaration and court filing referenced above. You'll note that it was written by Mr. Shelton in his own hand. Further information to come as it is made available. And, yes, these are his actual words...
 






-30-
Images: InTouch Weekly, Bauer Publishing
Stefani: InStyle
Shelton & O'Dell: ETONLINE.COM
Tip O'Neil: AP
Legal Declaration: DocumentCloud.org



Sunday, April 5, 2015

Harvey Weinstein Joining The Bill Cosby Club?

 

 

"People look like their personalities." 
 
I once heard this said by comedian Adam Corolla — who looks like the kid that would sit in the back of the classroom making fart noises, then, shaking his head in disbelief, pointing to the girl next to him. (Which is why I like the guy.) 
 
Harvey Weinstein looks like the overly polite doorman at a dingy, old not-as-fancy-as-it-once-was apartment building in NYC who’ll fondle the young Chinese food delivery girl the first chance he gets.
 
I'm not saying he has done such things, mind you. 
 
A young model is saying it. 
 
She went to the police to report an incident, of a sexual predatory nature, in which Weinstein touched her quite inappropriately. And...she's 22. Weinstein is in his mid-sixties. (Had he been invited to play in her victory garden, more power to him...but, clearly, it's power that's the problem -- he was not invited.)
 
Who is she? She is a model by the name of Fialala Volare.
 
Actually, that's a lie. Her name is Ambra Battilana, but, really, you don't care.
 
You're more interested in the juicy facts about Weinstein and where/when/why he groped the pretty girl. And who can blame you? I mean, we can all picture it...As a matter of fact, Breitbart.com makes it super-easy.
 
Here's a screen cap of the story from their page:
 



Do you see it? In case you don't, let's make it easier for you...



Step 1.
 

We perform some photo editing, placing the images together...




It's becoming clearer now, yes? 
 

Step 2. 
 

Now, in our editing software, we go to the Image menu and choose something to highlight the point we're making to you readers:

 



Result:

 



Perfect. 
 
Now that we're in exploitative b&w, we’re free to use further effects.
 
Step 3.
 
So we go to the Effects menu. Again, we really want to make the implications clear, but not overtly so...just the way Breitbart.com did. 
 
So let's choose the most practical effects option we can find...





That should do it.
 
And the result:






Now, don't get me wrong. Breitbart.com is completely justified. Weinstein is (allegedly) scum. Gross, awful scum (allegedly). Really, he's just a horrific, disgusting, awful man who may have even admitted to what he did (see below), and I cannot begin to imagine how many dozens of non-Cosby victims he groped. Allegedly. 
 


But here's the thing...
 


Choosing the nearly bared upper bod image of the model and placing it side-by-side with a Weinstein image with his hands in some odd positioning -- and just at the right alignment with her breasts -- the idea that our eyes should fill in the blanks is pretty clear.
 
So now the question becomes: Who's sleazier, Weinstein or the editors of Breitbart.com? 
 
Too tough to call.
 
I get it though. Weinstein, a Hollywood mogul and liberal media giant, should be taken down a peg or two -- the Breitbart site is super-happy to do this. They've probably not been this happy since they thought they found proof that Obama supporter and now-former Sony chief Amy Pascal had e-mails hacked in which she admitted to squat-peeing in the faces of black gay boy scouts in Detroit who wanted nothing more than health care coverage and three healthy meals a day per the DHS Food Assistance program (those vampires! suckling on the teat of the government!). 
 
Yes, that would've been quite the get for them.
 
But there is another disturbing aspect to all of this: While the story of Handsy Harvey appeared on the cover of two New York papers during the week the story broke, it seemed only a blip on the radar of The Hollywood Reporter (which does generally shy away from stories that are unconfirmed -- in this case, no charges have been pressed as yet) or Variety, which spent more space on the Sony hack than they did the Oscars. (To be fair, I've no awareness of the print publications, which, for all I know, featured images like this on the cover:






 

...or perhaps not).  

According to The Daily News, it was reported that Weinstein didn't know the young woman. So this wasn't a "casting couch" situation. By the same token, the paper, and the Breitbart page above, claims the police have a recorded phone call between Weinstein and his wife, during which Harv states "it won't happen again." "It" being the atrocious honk-honk incident.
  
Yes, I'm calling his grasping of her boobage the "honk, honk incident." Not to demean the woman, or the situation, but because sometimes Adam Sandler-level sophomoric comments are just what a story needs. (This story was likely not one of those.)
 
Ahem.
 
But shouldn’t this be big news? The way the Cosby revelation was, and continues to be, big news?

 

If this isn't big news, is it because Variety and THR are afraid of the giant known as Harvey Weinstein? Or, in the case of THR, do they honestly feel there's no here here? (We know Variety doesn’t care about such things —see their continued hack Sony coverage [yes, those words are in the correct order], I'm pretty sure they’re still reprinting e-mails about absolutely nothing on their home page.) 
 
But, of course, if we really want the story to blow up, if we really want to suss out the truth, or some variation on it, we should make one more adjustment to this image... 
 
Yes, to ensure the media covers the lies and exploits the truth -- because goodness knows that uncovering one lie in a sea of misogyny is of the utmost importance -- we'll add just one more finishing touch to get everybody's attention...
 
This should do it:

 



Maybe now people will talk about it.

-30-

Photos used for parody purposes.