The Force A-Sleepens

Entranced Star Wars fans who were collectively hoping that the standalone Star Wars Spin-Off Disney said to come would focus on Boba Fett were completely oblivious today when Robert Iger announced the film would be focusing on a member of the Star Wars Rebels Rogue Squadron.

 

At a Disney shareholder meeting Iger announced the film, "Rogue One," which will star a woman everyone is pretending they’ve been a fan of all along. 

In the Star Wars universe, the Galactic Empire is ever expanding and, I dunno, making everyone act, like, a racially charged Earth stereotype (see Episodes I, II, III), and also blowing up planets. So the rebels, who are apparently small in number, have this little fighter squadron, so little in fact that they actually let fat guys named Porkins fight. I mean, seriously...Porkins?

 

The force is strong in Disney. Not only have they compelled fans to completely forget that the last three films were abysmal — so abysmal in fact they destroyed several careers and caused Lucas to sell off the series — but fans have actually forgotten about their dire need for a Boba Fett film.

 

"Rogue One" is due in theaters December 2016. The previously announced "Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Episode VII: Do Over" arrives this December.