Madonna Parking Scandal or Madonna’s Become Cranky In Her Old, Old...Old Age

New York City, where parking is a lot like the movie Batman v. Superman — you expect something simple that'll just take up a small portion of your day but instead you end up scarred for life, wondering how your entire day got eaten up by a frustrating turd of an experience.

According to celebrity stalker site TMZ, Madonna, who owns a $40M townhouse on the Upper East Side of Manhattan (for those who don’t know NYC, the Upper East Side is the northern-most rich neighborhood on the east side of Manhattan Island — it’s also where dowdy old Manhattanites go to get rye bread and die quietly at home), has decided, in Jerry Seinfeld parlance, "NO PARKING FOR YOU!"

In secret, the lucky star apparently decided to paint the borderline of the curb in front of her home a ray-of-light "no parking" yellow — in spite of it being out of vogue — and threw up some sidewalk talk which read "Tenant Parking Only," essentially making it clear that they can't holiday near the material girl and like a prayer papa don't preach a justify my love cherish la isla bonita blahblahblah did I already use borderline?

Well, a neighbor noticed the phony signage and reported the lady singer to the city. Because, while yes, she can warn people not to park in front of her driveway, the 40 feet of curb space to the left is public parking, and she’s got no say over any of that.

Madonna's fake "Tenant Parking Only" signage included planting a post on city sidewalk property and actually embossing the sidewalk in big letters which read "OI, THIS HERE SPOT IS RESERVED FOR PEOPLE OO'VE NOT SEEN MOY VAH-JAYJAY, GOV!"

Or, perhaps I'm misremembering, it may have just read "No Parking."

Nevertheless, Mad Madge has been given a warning from the city to undo all the voodoo that she did do. And, in her ever-classy Madonna style, the old croner, er, crooner, took it all in stride and completely empathized with her neighbors’ frustration.

No. I'm of course being sarcastic...but not as sarcastic as this post from Mad's Instagram

Yes Bishes I am Madonna and that is my driveway and if people park in front of it i cant drive in my driveway! So sorry the city doesn't like the color yellow! We will paint a nice dull grey to keep our neighbors happy! Sorry! Im saying 3 extra Hail Mary's this Easter for this transgression!

Actual Instagram post:

Yes Bishes I am Madonna and that is my driveway and if people park in front of it i cant... https://t.co/CnmnvriZt3 pic.twitter.com/Py1Sk42VK9

— Madonna (@Madonna) March 24, 2016

If you look up "classy in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of Madonna. And, under it, a caption reading, "See Career Low."
-30-