Emmy predictions? Anyone can do that! List of Emmy nominees? Anyone can give you a typo’d list of nominees (I’m lookin’ at you GossipCop.com). Make fun of Jimmy Kimmel’s eyes, near-beard, or that growth on his back (he apparently calls it “Guillermo”), again, these are things anybody can do!
However, only Z!TV gives you the Sarcastic Emmys!
Read the list of potential winners we may or may not (probably not) really believe will/want to/might possibly win Emmys this year!
(And, hey, please be sure to comment, share, twit back and let me know your thoughts — sarcastic or otherwise!)
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OUTSTANDING COMEDY
black-ish: To quote the series creator, “Go Trump!”
Master Of None: Winning an Emmy is super-easy when absolutely no men watch your show.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Winning an Emmy is super-easy when absolutely no men watch your show. (Seriously, fellow men, why’re you afraid to watch this show?!)
Veep: Definitely has a good chance of coming in 2nd!
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OUTSTANDING DRAMA
The Americans: Wait a second, this title completely upends my entire concept – it’s already sarcastic. Or is it ironic?
Better Call Saul: Oh sure, there’s nothing I like more than a prequel series to a show where, if you cut out the middle episodes from nearly every season, the purported story wouldn’t suffer at all.
Downton Abbey -
Game Of Thrones: I can’t even think of a series that’s more worthy of the Emmy (Remember the concept of this article, people.)
Homeland -
House Of Cards - Emmy voters love it when a show’s creator leaves and the show goes on without them. That’s always very successful. (Of course, that’s happening in the upcoming season. Hmm....)
Mr. Robot: The Emmys are always very kind to sci-fi and fantasy shows. They love them! This is the series that’s favored to win. To prove it, here’s an extensive, meticulously researched, chronological list of previous sci-fi series winners:
Twilight Zone
(Note: Some people believe Lost belongs on this list; the only sci-fi aspect to Lost is how unbelievable it is that this show ran for 6 seasons. [OK, the CGI used to create Josh Holloway was pretty impressive.])
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DIRECTING, DRAMA
Downton Abbey
Game Of Thrones: Wait, I know this show! This is the one with the zombies, right?
Homeland
The Knick: What? No, no, of course I‘ve watched your show. Yeah, no, you’re, like, totally right in there. I DVR it every week! Yeah, you’ve a GOOD chance. Promise.
Ray Donovan
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LEAD ACTOR, DRAMA
Kyle Chandler, Bloodlines
Rami Malek, Mr Robot
Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul: Absolutely hands down the winner. For Best Supporting Actor in an alternate world where Waflter White still lives. (This may end up being a Jon Hamm/Mad Men thing where Emmy folk suddenly awaken to realize the show’s gone and its lead hasn’t won.)
Matthew Rhys, The Americans
Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards: My oh my, I wonder who ever will win the Emmy? (Matthew Rhys it sounds like, ya jerk.)
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LEAD ACTRESS, DRAMA
Claire Danes, Homeland - Pretty sure Emmy rules and regulations state Danes can only win if she cries more than 11 times in a single season.
Viola Davis, How To Get Away With Murder
Taraji P Henson, Empire
Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black
Keri Russell, The Americans
Robin Wright, House of Cards: Omigod, Robin, you TOTALLY have a chance!
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LEAD ACTOR, COMEDY
Anthony Anderson, black-ish: Nothing is more convincing than a guy who essentially gets paid to act like himself.
Aziz Ansari, Masters of None: Nothing is more convincing than a guy who essentially gets paid to act like himself.
Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth: In all seriousness, more people should be watching this show.
William H Macy, Shameless
Thomas Middleditch, Silicon Valley
Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent: Nothing is more convincing than a guy who essentially gets paid to act like himself....Waaait a minute…
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LEAD ACTRESS, COMEDY
Ellie Kemper, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Laurie Metcalfe, Getting On: The show on everyone’s mind.
Tracee Ellis Ross, black-ish: No, no one’s noticed it. Your eyes totally look fine. (I actually have a huge crush on this woman, so I don’t wanna hear your complaints.)
Amy Schumer, Inside Amy Schumer: OK, time out, isn’t this a variety series? Isn’t there a special category for that? How did she end up here? (OK, Time in...)
Lily Tomlin, Grace and Frankie: This nomination in no way causes friction on the set of the series with two veteran actresses known to be very easy to get along with.
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GUEST ACTOR, COMEDY
Bob Newhart, The Big Bang Theory
Tracy Morgan, SNL
Larry David, SNL
Badley Whitford, Transparent
Martin Mull, Veep
Peter Scolari, Veep: He’s my favorite on this show. (What? Typo? Where?)
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GUEST ACTRESS, COMEDY
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live
Melissa McCarthy, Saturday Night Live
Amy Schumer, Saturday Night Live: I dream of a day where Amy Schumer is in every category.
Christine Baranski, The Big Bang Theory
Laurie Metcalf, The Big Bang Theory: I dream of a day where Laurie Metcalf is in every category.
Melora Hardin, Transparent: I dream of a day where Melora Hardin is in every category…and that I know who Melora Hardin is. (From The Office? Are you sure?!)
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WRITING, COMEDY
Catastrophe: HUGE hit. Let me tell you, I love this show. I never miss an episode. Melania and I, we can’t get enough. It’s true. Can’t get enough. We even have the creator of the show’s birth certificate framed in gold on our gold wall above our favorite gold mantel.
Master Of None: Mastered. (Once more, I’d like to remind you of the concept indicated at the top.)
Silicon Valley
Veep
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OUTSTANDING VARIETY TALK SERIES
Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee: Lots of great, entertaining, brilliant, really funny diner waitresses in this show.
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
The Late Late Show with James Corden: Whoever it was that thought of singing in a car should definitely win an Emmy. Actually, that person should win ALL the Emmys. If I could think of even just ONE idea funnier than that (I’d be a writer for Jimmy Kimmel)...
Real Time With Bill Maher: This is Bill’s year! And President Obama’s finally coming on the show this week!
The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon: There’s nothing funnier than saying to 83-year-old Carol Burnett during an interminable “comedy” piece, “Did you have a stroke?” This man is a genius, I tell you.
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WRITING, VARIETY SERIES
Full Frontal With Samantha Bee: I have no patience for your sarcasm here, people. This show had better win.
Inside Amy Schumer: I’d be OK with this winning…but disappointed.
Key & Peele: I’d also be OK with these guys winning.
Last Week Tonight With John Oliver: Meh.
Portlandia: Feh.
SNL: ARGH!
Now back to the sarcasm...
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REALITY COMPETITION
The Amazing Race: OHMIGOD, I never miss an episode, it’s no wonder this show has won, like 47 out of its 48 nominations! It HAS to win, it’s, well, amazing!
American Ninja Warrior: Just like the ninjas of yore who had to swing from a slippery monkey bar onto a stone water slide and climb up a rock wall and dive through the doughnut and pinball flippers to smack the big red button.
Dancing With the Stars: Name is already sarcastic. I have nothing to add.
Project Runway: I can only hope to one day be as unapologetically and consistently sarcastic as the people on this show.
Top Chef: The people on Project Runway can only hope to one day be as unapologetically and consistently sarcastic as the people on this show.
The Voice: Ugh, I can’t watch this show. Everyone’s so ugly. I’m waiting for the series entitled “The Face” thankyouverymuch.
The Emmys air sometime on Sunday, following 6 hours of red carpet coverage — beginning with the carpet being vacuumed! — on a network that doesn’t show nudity.
Good luck, Emmy nominees!
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or parody purposes.
Copyright Television Academy or respective owners.
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