HiddleSwift – The Biggest Break Up in The History of The Internet (This Week)

Time magazine. USA Today. Billboard. Cosmo. No, I’m not listing the 5 publications least likely to be known to a Millennial, these are just some of the publications jumping on the end of the HiddleSwift bandwagon.

Hollywood couple Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston, one known for a killer body and great hair, the other being Taylor Swift, recently broke up – Us Weekly apparently broke the story. And the Internet went Trump-is-our-new-president-level crazy!

ORIGINAL PHOTO BY FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

They were a single PR alien monster. How could this have happened?

Sure, after three whole months, everybody expected Twitter to be overrun with comments and memes about the story – there’s nothing Twits likes more than to pile on to some great Hollywood gossip!

But Time magazine set aside some space for it too, using sister magazine People as its source – not only with a nifty video but an article that actually has more links than it does sentences. What’s most impressive, is that the coverage of this mega-story took at least three people – the Time reporter, a People reporter, and a “Scoop” video reporter who, let’s assume writes her own material (I’m also going to assume she chose the provocative and unique name of People’s video arm – “Scoop.” The power of the Time-Warner Fourth Estate branch at its finest!)

Billboard, a company so old it’s named after something people can only see if they look up from their phones, had a different angle. Utilizing the Instagram posts – yeah, don’t think for a single f―king second that Billboard ain’t hip, they totally know how to embed Instagram posts! – of a bunch of random users (some famous, some Cara Delevingne), Billboard went in-depth, going deep inside the complex machinery of the 4-month-long story of the couple.

MTV put in a great deal of effort. So I’ve put in just as much effort detailing that site’s coverage.

Over at USA Today, I think they were attempting humor. There was something about puns and links – heck, I’d link to the piece, but I’ve realized my own attempt at humor is beginning to wear so thin, Time magazine has more reporters prepping a wildly detailed Kardashian family exposé than I do readers.

Yes, the Internet will continue at its own pace (this story for instance is woefully irrelevant as of 16 hours ago), and Twitter, of course, moved on about 3 days before grand-dad’s Entertainment Tonight Twitter feed even reported that that the HiddleSwift boat had sailed, but the impact of TayTom is clearly unending.

From The Daily Beast to TMZ, our trusted media outlets can’t seem to get enough of these two entertainment greats, why, Z!TV itself is just beginning a new detailed analysis of th― THIS JUST IN: A KARDASHIAN JUST WORE SOMETHING SHEER! Please check our Twitter feed for an endless stream of― THIS JUST IN: HILLARY CLINTON’S DRY THROAT AT A RALLY PROVES SHE’S DYING OF PROSTATE CANCER. Yes, it seems that the candidate with the biggest balls― THIS JUST IN: SOMEONE HAS JUST NOTICED SELENA GOMEZ AND DEMI LOVATO ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON. THIS JUST IN: MADONNA/GUY RITCHIE SETTLE CUSTODY BATTLE OVER HER FAUX BRITISH ACCEN― THIS JUST IN: TWITTER AFLUTTER OVER NEWEST NOTHING CELEB NEWS STORY THAT’S FORGOTTEN ABOUT BEFORE I’VE EVEN FINISHED THIS―

-30-

Photo used for parody purposes.