Saturday, May 9, 2015
Mad Men Series Finale - A Mad Men/Animal House Mashup Video!
Both Mad Men and the classic naughty comedy Animal House took place in the 1960s...so what better way to celebrate the end of Mad Men by mimicking the end of Animal House with a "Mad Men Graduating Class" video...
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Mayweather vs Pacquiao -- If you Can't Beat the Sh!t Out 'em, Sue 'em!
If you're going to get around $150M to shove your fist in some guy's face over and over and over and over and over and over and over for 12 rounds, over and over, working as hard as you can and sacrificing any remaining brain cells, resulting in random thoughts about your egg cabbage rocking ascot pork, like any brain-damaged boxer, you shouldn't give fans the short shrift.
Yes, this is what Manny Pacquiao is learning, with lawsuits being filed against him following the "fight of the century" -- Mayweather vs. Pacquiao. The fight saw two welter-weight fighters, about 10 years past their prime, face off against one another in 12 rounds of really bad ballroom dancing.
Manny Pantrynow has, according to E! Online, had a class-action lawsuit filed against hi-- oops, TMZ has just reported another one has been filed. The two suits were filed against Manny PacManOw, because -- uh-oh...looks like a third one was filed. Oh, wait. this just in: Third lawsuit was filed against Floyd Mayweather. More on that later.
The class-action suits against Manny Pantyhow state that anyone who bought tix to the fight, watched it on cable, bought a beer while viewing it at a bar, spent gas driving to or from a Dick's Sporting Goods, or ever uttered the word "fist" while paying a sex worker is owed money because Manny Patchybrow wasn’t fighting at 100%.
See, Manny Pellegrino went through with the fight in spite of a reported shoulder injury which was reportedly reported to the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency who later reported that his fighting was AOK, but the NSAC reportedly felt the reporting was not OK.
For those not keeping up, a quick Google search reveals the NSAC is the National Sustainable Agriculture Coalition. They advocate for federal reform on natural food-- hm. That can’t be right.
OK, the second result on Google states the NSAC is the National Spiritualist Association of Churches. They believe in "joy, harmony" and something I can only find out by following the Google link, which I’ve not done.
Hm.
Alright, the next Google result states the Nuclear Science Advisory Committee will--
Alright, well whatever the NSAC is, it said no to Manny PeterParkero taking a truckload of drugs to make his shoulder feel like it was at 100%, even though it was at 40% at best, and Manny Practicenow says it was going at 60%, and Louie the Tick says he lost revenues of about 38% of what he could've made and "legs'll be busted."
While a rematch is already in the works for a Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight, Pacquiao v Stupid Fight Fans will probably hit right around the time Batman v Superman underperforms at the box office.
In other news, Floyd Mayweather, convicted wife-beater and multi-millionaire who defended Ray Rice for punching the makeup off his wife in an elevator, is not being sued by fans. Fans support him completely, because any man who can beat the shit out of a woman and a Filipino is AOK in their book.
He is however being sued for $20M in a defamation suit by his ex girlfriend. Mayweather, whose name we won't get wrong, because we want everyone to remember the name of the guy who beat his girlfriend in front of her children (this, according to E! and Mayweather's own guilty plea), spent 60 of 90 days in jail for the attack. Clearly a fair and just punishment for a trained fighter slamming his fist into a human being one-half his size and 1/8 his strength.
Floyd "The Girl Puncher" MayWeather recently told Katie Couric -- who also didn't believe a damned word Mayweather said on the subject (see video, note her voiceover) -- that he was restraining his ex-gal, because she was on drugs.
We believe she was on drugs. Sure, why not. If I had to be around Floyd Mayweather, I'd toke up to say the least. (More likely, I'd be downing some Ambien, but whatever.)
But we're more likely to believe Mayweather likes to beat people up. Now, we haven't much proof of this (43-0, 26 KOs), it's only a guess ("Mayweather Guilty of Battery"), but we're pretty sure it's a pretty good theory.
Now, if only Manny Patsyfrown can get that shoulder fixed (and replaced with bionics) in time for the next fight.
-30-
Photos used for parody purposes.
Yes, this is what Manny Pacquiao is learning, with lawsuits being filed against him following the "fight of the century" -- Mayweather vs. Pacquiao. The fight saw two welter-weight fighters, about 10 years past their prime, face off against one another in 12 rounds of really bad ballroom dancing.
Manny Pantrynow has, according to E! Online, had a class-action lawsuit filed against hi-- oops, TMZ has just reported another one has been filed. The two suits were filed against Manny PacManOw, because -- uh-oh...looks like a third one was filed. Oh, wait. this just in: Third lawsuit was filed against Floyd Mayweather. More on that later.
 |
| Mayweather vs. Ormphby - FALL 2015! |
The class-action suits against Manny Pantyhow state that anyone who bought tix to the fight, watched it on cable, bought a beer while viewing it at a bar, spent gas driving to or from a Dick's Sporting Goods, or ever uttered the word "fist" while paying a sex worker is owed money because Manny Patchybrow wasn’t fighting at 100%.
See, Manny Pellegrino went through with the fight in spite of a reported shoulder injury which was reportedly reported to the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency who later reported that his fighting was AOK, but the NSAC reportedly felt the reporting was not OK.
For those not keeping up, a quick Google search reveals the NSAC is the National Sustainable Agriculture Coalition. They advocate for federal reform on natural food-- hm. That can’t be right.
OK, the second result on Google states the NSAC is the National Spiritualist Association of Churches. They believe in "joy, harmony" and something I can only find out by following the Google link, which I’ve not done.
Hm.
Alright, the next Google result states the Nuclear Science Advisory Committee will--
Alright, well whatever the NSAC is, it said no to Manny PeterParkero taking a truckload of drugs to make his shoulder feel like it was at 100%, even though it was at 40% at best, and Manny Practicenow says it was going at 60%, and Louie the Tick says he lost revenues of about 38% of what he could've made and "legs'll be busted."
While a rematch is already in the works for a Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight, Pacquiao v Stupid Fight Fans will probably hit right around the time Batman v Superman underperforms at the box office.
In other news, Floyd Mayweather, convicted wife-beater and multi-millionaire who defended Ray Rice for punching the makeup off his wife in an elevator, is not being sued by fans. Fans support him completely, because any man who can beat the shit out of a woman and a Filipino is AOK in their book.
 |
| Even Don Draper Thinks Mayweather's An Asshole (Yeah, this is an advertisement for a video we've got coming THIS weekend!) |
He is however being sued for $20M in a defamation suit by his ex girlfriend. Mayweather, whose name we won't get wrong, because we want everyone to remember the name of the guy who beat his girlfriend in front of her children (this, according to E! and Mayweather's own guilty plea), spent 60 of 90 days in jail for the attack. Clearly a fair and just punishment for a trained fighter slamming his fist into a human being one-half his size and 1/8 his strength.
Floyd "The Girl Puncher" MayWeather recently told Katie Couric -- who also didn't believe a damned word Mayweather said on the subject (see video, note her voiceover) -- that he was restraining his ex-gal, because she was on drugs.
We believe she was on drugs. Sure, why not. If I had to be around Floyd Mayweather, I'd toke up to say the least. (More likely, I'd be downing some Ambien, but whatever.)
But we're more likely to believe Mayweather likes to beat people up. Now, we haven't much proof of this (43-0, 26 KOs), it's only a guess ("Mayweather Guilty of Battery"), but we're pretty sure it's a pretty good theory.
Now, if only Manny Patsyfrown can get that shoulder fixed (and replaced with bionics) in time for the next fight.
-30-
Photos used for parody purposes.
Monday, April 27, 2015
The Facts of Bruce Jenner's Life
She is Bruce Jenner — hear her roar!
A lot of people have made jokes at Bruce Jenner's expense. And, according to the Diane Sawyer piece, they made these jokes because Bruce Jenner was transitioning into a woman.
However, what Sawyer's recent exclusive ABC interview neglected to point out was that everyone — including your late-night talk show hosts — was under the impression that Jenner was just becoming a weird old dude.
Nobody actually realized he (now she) was transitioning until the word got out about the Adam's apple surgery Jenner had (that is, he had that Adam's apple turned into an Eve's orange...or something).
So while the world may have been unfair to Jenner, 20/20 was unfair to the comedians who had no idea what it was exactly that was going on with him.
And now that we do, I find it interesting that Diane Sawyer had to explain to everybody what a transgender person even is in 2015, half a century after Christine Jorgensen, decades since Bond girl and Playboy model Tula Cossey, several years after the Chazzy and Cher story, many months after Laverne Cox in Orange is the New Black, and a about a week since I discovered the T4M section on Craig’s List.
I’m kidding of course.
The T4M section for me is like Norm walking into Cheers. Shame all the paid escorts have ruined it. (Cheers I mean. Have you been?) I remember the days when you and a hot trans gal could just go back to your place and do each other doggy style until the sun came up.
Ah, but I digress...
As I was starting to say, the big question for me is why did Diane Sawyer hold everybody’s hand through this news story about Bruce Jenner and his soon-to-emerge alter ego?
Was it because it was manly athlete Bruce Jenner?
Was she trying to elicit more empathy for him in his new life choices?
Or did she and the 20/20 producers just assume the public is too dumb to get it?
Well, I’d have to bet on the latter. As Ms. Sawyer herself asked, utterly confused, “So, do you like girls?...” Bruce explained that he does.
I had to wonder, how come no one ever asked this question of “Jo” on The Facts of Life?
A lot of people have made jokes at Bruce Jenner's expense. And, according to the Diane Sawyer piece, they made these jokes because Bruce Jenner was transitioning into a woman.
However, what Sawyer's recent exclusive ABC interview neglected to point out was that everyone — including your late-night talk show hosts — was under the impression that Jenner was just becoming a weird old dude.
Nobody actually realized he (now she) was transitioning until the word got out about the Adam's apple surgery Jenner had (that is, he had that Adam's apple turned into an Eve's orange...or something).
So while the world may have been unfair to Jenner, 20/20 was unfair to the comedians who had no idea what it was exactly that was going on with him.
And now that we do, I find it interesting that Diane Sawyer had to explain to everybody what a transgender person even is in 2015, half a century after Christine Jorgensen, decades since Bond girl and Playboy model Tula Cossey, several years after the Chazzy and Cher story, many months after Laverne Cox in Orange is the New Black, and a about a week since I discovered the T4M section on Craig’s List.
I’m kidding of course.
The T4M section for me is like Norm walking into Cheers. Shame all the paid escorts have ruined it. (Cheers I mean. Have you been?) I remember the days when you and a hot trans gal could just go back to your place and do each other doggy style until the sun came up.
Ah, but I digress...
As I was starting to say, the big question for me is why did Diane Sawyer hold everybody’s hand through this news story about Bruce Jenner and his soon-to-emerge alter ego?
Was it because it was manly athlete Bruce Jenner?
Was she trying to elicit more empathy for him in his new life choices?
Or did she and the 20/20 producers just assume the public is too dumb to get it?
Well, I’d have to bet on the latter. As Ms. Sawyer herself asked, utterly confused, “So, do you like girls?...” Bruce explained that he does.
I had to wonder, how come no one ever asked this question of “Jo” on The Facts of Life?
Actually, how come no one ever asked this of Natalie on The
Facts of Life?
And how come no one ever asked this of Blair on The Facts of
Life?
Come to think of it, how come no one ever asked this of all
the temporary, recurring, and replacement characters on The Facts of Life?
Ahem.
The only thing I find strange about Bruce Jenner is how much he seemed to act like Kim (Kardashian, not Fields). And am I the only one who noticed how catty he was commenting about others? On the subject of his Russian competitor (whom he beat) growing quite fat since the Olympics, Jenner stated “I won that battle too!”
In sum, Bruce Jenner seems like a really nice guy. But the lady he’s to become is gonna be one mean bitch.
I would have to assume Mrs. Garrett would be so proud!
-30-
Images used for parody purposes & belong to their respective rights holders.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Helping Trevor Noah With Comedy
Yes, here it is, boys & girls!...
As promised in the previous post (where I eviscerated Jon Stewart for his non-response & examined Noah's obnoxious Twitter history)...it's that time! What time is that?!
Time to TEACH TREVOR NOAH COMEDY!!
Yay! And I'm quite comfortable saying that even the lame jokes below (and there are several) are far, far better than whatever-the-heck he wrote. A couple of twitter followers even pitched in...
Noah's original tweet:
NEW & IMPROVED:
Original:
NEW & IMPROVED:
And, one more time...
Original:
NEW & IMPROVED:
Let's stay with his Jewish mogul theme to start...
Yeah...that should do it.
-30-
Th-th-that's all, Folks!
As promised in the previous post (where I eviscerated Jon Stewart for his non-response & examined Noah's obnoxious Twitter history)...it's that time! What time is that?!
Time to TEACH TREVOR NOAH COMEDY!!
Yay! And I'm quite comfortable saying that even the lame jokes below (and there are several) are far, far better than whatever-the-heck he wrote. A couple of twitter followers even pitched in...
Noah's original tweet:
Originally when men proposed they went down on one knee so if the woman said no they were in the perfect uppercut position.
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) December 20, 2012
NEW & IMPROVED:
"Oh yeah the weekend. People are gonna get drunk & think that I'm sexy!" - fat chicks everywhere.
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) October 14, 2011
NEW & IMPROVED:
And, one more time...
Original:
Behind every successful Rap Billionaire is a double as rich Jewish man. #BeatsByDreidel
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) May 12, 2014
NEW & IMPROVED:
Let's stay with his Jewish mogul theme to start...
Meh. Perhaps there's just nothing there. So let's get more creative:
Yeah...that should do it.
-30-
Th-th-that's all, Folks!
What's Jon Stewart's Problem With Trevor Noah?
This week, host of satirical series "The Daily Show," Mr. Jon Stewart his own self, apologized on behalf of scandal-ridden replacement Trevor Noah.
Nope.
Whoops. Sorry, that was from a first draft. Stewart made no apology.
OK, here we go...
This week "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart explained in detail that his soon-to-be replacement, Trevor Noah, is in no way an anti-Semite nor a misogynist.
Dammit. That was my second draft. Sorry. Turns out Stewart didn't say that at all.
Alright...
Jon Stewart returned to air this week by taking to task all of the people who "overreacted" to tweets by "Daily Show" correspondent and future host Trevor Noah.
Fuck. That's not what happened either.
So, wait, did Jon Stewart explain that Trevor Noah's tweets were misread? Nope. Did he explain that perhaps Noah could have better worded some of his Tweets? Uh-uh.
Oh wait! I know, Jon Stewart "Daily Showed" the whole thing -- yeah, you know, he showed Fox News and CNN correspondents discussing the whole "scandal," then line-by-line tore them a new one, poking holes in their arguments, explaining that those Fox News guys have as much right to analyze comedy as Stewart himself has to, say, analyze insane rants by half-baked analysts paid by the Fox conglomerate to develop a particular narrative which causes dismay and utter outrage when anyone, democrat or republican, strays from said narrative.
Or words to that effect. You know, Stewart's usual ball of hysterically funny ass-fucking of the bad guys! (The way we love it!)
So, he ranted, and then he cut to "Sr. Women's Studies Correspondent" Jessica Williams to discuss in detail why Noah's tweets were not sexis--
Ohh, wait...turns out absolutely none of that happened either.
Actually, nothing happened. Jon Stewart opened the show, said Trevor Noah is "incredibly thoughtful and considerate" and explained we should "give him an opportunity to earn [our] trust and respect."
 |
| Trevor Noah & Jon Stewart joke backstage of The Daily Show, each wearing the uniform of oppressive regimes. |
Some might say nothing more needed to happen. That Stewart's lack of coverage meant the "scandal" was not worth further coverage or acknowledgement. And to those people I say, if Letterman can still make "Chris Christie is fat" jokes, if comic legend Robert Klein can still do his bit on the Red Hot Chili Peppers and that old 4-hour erection/Viagra joke, and if Jon effin' Stewart can shrug at the Hillary Clinton e-mail scandal one day then ask us to look closer at it a few days later, then sure as George W. Bush can get a library named after him, I can sure as hell take a closer look at the dude who's made the worst splash in his meteoric rise to stardom since, well, Tom Arnold (how a rising meteor splashes is a question best answered by Neil deGrasse Tyson; me, I'm just gonna press on)...
/span> Comedy Central's Kent Alterman made the decision on Noah. And that would explain Stewart's choice to essentially say nothing more than "I don't necessarily hate him, you might not maybe shouldn't yet hate him either."
Skipping the Tweets that just fell flat (this would be most of his Tweets, but in terms of the scandal, Noah's tweet about "women's hockey [being] like lesbian porn ... without the porn" is simply saying that there are a lot of gay women playing hockey, and he seems to like looking at them. I don't know if a lot do play hockey, but if this were softball or field hockey, well, um, yeah, it sure could be the fact. A stereotype? Sure. But it's not an insulting one, unless you think that saying lesbians play sports a lot is insulting), I'm just moving ahead and looking at those tweets which truly seemed to be hateful.
In Noah's defense, let's keep in mind, each of the next three tweets are anywhere from about one to several years old:
Originally when men proposed they went down on one knee so if the woman said no they were in the perfect uppercut position.
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) December 20, 2012
"Oh yeah the weekend. People are gonna get drunk & think that I'm sexy!" - fat chicks everywhere.
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) October 14, 2011<
Messi gets the ball and the real players try foul him, but Messi doesn't go down easy, just like jewish chicks. #ElClasico
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) January 25, 2012
So the first Tweet above is about punching women. I don't think there is anyone defending this. Well, you know, except for Ray Rice's wife. (*sigh*)
The second states that women who are overweight are only attractive to drunk men. Sexist men the world over who don't like fat girls are definitely defending this one. But how that's gonna get them laid is beyond me.
The third tweet re-uses that ol' chestnut about Jewish gals not enjoying going down on men and turns it on its ear...no, wait, it just re-uses the ol' chestnut (untrue by the way, and big thank yous to Michelle, Shari, Susan, Maureen, Melissa, and all the rest whose names I have absolutely not forgotten, I swear). It's not so much offensive on its own (it's a bad joke using a stereotype), but as part of a pattern which is forming, well, it doesn't look great. Especially when the rest of that pattern is anti-Semitism...
Almost bumped a Jewish kid crossing the road. He didn't look b4 crossing but I still would hav felt so bad in my german car!
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) September 18, 2009
This one has been quite controversial. Some say it's anti-Semitic. Others say that the joke is just that hitting a Jewish kid with a German car is far worse than just accidentally hitting him.
Again, looking at the pattern of jokes (two more of this ilk follow, admittedly over the course of several years), it doesn't speak well of the author.
No matter how you look at that above tweet, however, the crux of it is that he's joking about hitting a child with his car. Tasteless no matter the creed of the subject. Now, heat your skillet to about 300 degrees, melt the butter and add just a sprig of Nazism...and what you've got will definitely leave a bad taste in your mouth (which reminds me, I owe Susan an apology).
Sooo, on its own? Not the worst joke in the world (we'll refer you to that Tosh fella and his rape joke aimed at a patron for that...or my "apology to Susan" joke above), but, thank goodness there was more!...
Sure, plenty of people have this opinion of Israel...but they don't have this opinion and also make jokes about Jewish women's aversion to sex (well, they do, but they're usually hairy Jewish men with small penises [oops, stereotypes abound!]) or about hitting Jewish children with cars (well, they do, but they're usually blonde, blue-eyed fellows in black uniforms. [ack! Did it again!]).
Speaking of doing it again...
Behind every successful Rap Billionaire is a double as rich Jewish man. #BeatsByDreidel
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) May 12, 2014
Wow, so the rich Jews control everything. That's the implication here. Now, by the same token, it might very well be a true statement, but the "double as rich Jewish man" phraseology has a tinge of spite (add it to the skillet with the sprig of Nazism and the butter, don't forget to chop the chip on your shoulder...).
That phrasing can surely be called into question. It's like if I went to watch a Washington Redskins game and, at the concession, ordered a "Bloody Tomahawk Double-Dog" (a double-sized hot dog with extra ketchup). You'd probably think that naming a hot dog that is almost as insensitive as calling your team the Washington Redskins.* That is to say, it's really just not okay.
(*No, there's no such thing as a "Bloody Tomahawk Double-Dog" -- this is satire, that was a joke. Just like Redskins owner Dan Snyder.)
The most interesting thing about the above is that a lot of people don't see this as racist. For instance after one twitter user said Noah's comment was indeed racist, another Twitterer replied:
@bluejames are you drunk who is this racist to?
Jimmy Iovine is richer than Dr Dre. How is a fact
racist? I don't need fans like you.
Oh wait, that was Trevor Noah himself handling a heckler with wit and aplomb.
Darn-it-all...there I go mistyping again: I meant, "That was Trevor Noah himself handling a heckler with a total lack of wit and aplomb."
Here he is trying it again...
@sgreenbl there's only one rap billionaire. How is this stereotyping? Are you being serious right now?
Seriously. If it wasn't so pathetic, it'd be funny. Wait, wait, it actually is funny. Trevor Noah's sad display, his awfully ridiculous attempt at defending his work is actually funnier than the work itself.
But don't fear, Z!TV is here to help with that!
See, since Jon Stewart seems to have no interest in defending Noah, outside of asking us to give him a chance, and since Noah has not apologized, nor said that people misconstrued his words, nor said that -- since some tweets are several years old -- he's grown as a person, nor said that he is seeking counseling for what seems to be his obvious hatred of Jews and women, nor said that he is going to try and do better or be a better person, nor said that he simply enjoys off-color humor and meant no harm, nor said that he actually likes Jews and "fat chicks," nor said...shit, now I've completely forgotten my point.
Oh right!
Since Noah hasn't done any of the above, let's play...
TEACH TREVOR NOAH COMEDY!...
A game where Z!TV rewrites Noah's most offensive tweets! It's in the next blog post.
-30-
Photos & Images Used Solely for Parody Purposes.
Original Trevor Noah & Jon Stewart image source: Facebook
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Harvey Weinstein Joining The Bill Cosby Club?
"People look like their personalities."
I once heard this said by comedian Adam Corolla — who looks
like the kid that would sit in the back of the classroom making fart noises,
then, shaking his head in disbelief, pointing to the girl next to him. (Which is why I like the guy.)
I'm not saying he has done such things, mind you.
A young model is saying it.
She went to the police to report an incident, of a sexual predatory nature, in which Weinstein touched her quite inappropriately. And...she's 22. Weinstein is in his mid-sixties. (Had he been invited to play in her victory garden, more power to him...but, clearly, it's power that's the problem -- he was not invited.)
Who is she? She is a model by the name of Fialala Volare.
Actually, that's a lie. Her name is Ambra Battilana, but, really, you don't care.
You're more interested in the juicy facts about Weinstein and where/when/why he groped the pretty girl. And who can blame you? I mean, we can all picture it...As a matter of fact, Breitbart.com makes it super-easy.
Here's a screen cap of the story from their page:
Do you see it? In case you don't, let's make it easier for
you...
Step 1.
We perform some photo editing, placing the images together...
It's becoming clearer now, yes?
Step 2.
Now, in our editing software, we go to the Image
menu and choose something to highlight the point we're making to you readers:
Result:
Perfect.
Now that we're in exploitative b&w, we’re free to use further effects.
Step 3.
So we go to the Effects menu. Again, we really want to make the implications clear, but not overtly so...just the way Breitbart.com did.
So let's choose the most practical effects option we can find...
Now that we're in exploitative b&w, we’re free to use further effects.
Step 3.
So we go to the Effects menu. Again, we really want to make the implications clear, but not overtly so...just the way Breitbart.com did.
So let's choose the most practical effects option we can find...
That should do it.
And the result:
Now, don't get me wrong. Breitbart.com is completely
justified. Weinstein is (allegedly) scum. Gross, awful scum (allegedly). Really,
he's just a horrific, disgusting, awful man who may have even admitted to what he did (see below), and I
cannot begin to imagine how many dozens of non-Cosby victims he groped.
Allegedly.
But here's the thing...
Choosing the nearly bared upper bod image of the model and placing it side-by-side with a Weinstein image with his hands in some odd positioning -- and just at the right alignment with her breasts -- the idea that our eyes should fill in the blanks is pretty clear.
So now the question becomes: Who's sleazier, Weinstein or the editors of Breitbart.com?
Too tough to call.
I get it though. Weinstein, a Hollywood mogul and liberal media giant, should be taken down a peg or two -- the Breitbart site is super-happy to do this. They've probably not been this happy since they thought they found proof that Obama supporter and now-former Sony chief Amy Pascal had e-mails hacked in which she admitted to squat-peeing in the faces of black gay boy scouts in Detroit who wanted nothing more than health care coverage and three healthy meals a day per the DHS Food Assistance program (those vampires! suckling on the teat of the government!).
Yes, that would've been quite the get for them.
But there is another disturbing aspect to all of this: While the story of Handsy Harvey appeared on the cover of two New York papers during the week the story broke, it seemed only a blip on the radar of The Hollywood Reporter (which does generally shy away from stories that are unconfirmed -- in this case, no charges have been pressed as yet) or Variety, which spent more space on the Sony hack than they did the Oscars. (To be fair, I've no awareness of the print publications, which, for all I know, featured images like this on the cover:
So now the question becomes: Who's sleazier, Weinstein or the editors of Breitbart.com?
Too tough to call.
I get it though. Weinstein, a Hollywood mogul and liberal media giant, should be taken down a peg or two -- the Breitbart site is super-happy to do this. They've probably not been this happy since they thought they found proof that Obama supporter and now-former Sony chief Amy Pascal had e-mails hacked in which she admitted to squat-peeing in the faces of black gay boy scouts in Detroit who wanted nothing more than health care coverage and three healthy meals a day per the DHS Food Assistance program (those vampires! suckling on the teat of the government!).
Yes, that would've been quite the get for them.
But there is another disturbing aspect to all of this: While the story of Handsy Harvey appeared on the cover of two New York papers during the week the story broke, it seemed only a blip on the radar of The Hollywood Reporter (which does generally shy away from stories that are unconfirmed -- in this case, no charges have been pressed as yet) or Variety, which spent more space on the Sony hack than they did the Oscars. (To be fair, I've no awareness of the print publications, which, for all I know, featured images like this on the cover:
...or perhaps not).
According to The Daily News, it was reported that Weinstein didn't know the young woman. So this wasn't a "casting couch" situation. By the same token, the paper, and the Breitbart page above, claims the police have a recorded phone call between Weinstein and his wife, during which Harv states "it won't happen again." "It" being the atrocious honk-honk incident.
Yes, I'm calling his grasping of her boobage the "honk, honk incident." Not to demean the woman, or the situation, but because sometimes Adam Sandler-level sophomoric comments are just what a story needs. (This story was likely not one of those.)
Ahem.
But shouldn’t this be big news? The way the Cosby revelation was, and continues to be, big news?
If this isn't big news, is it because
Variety and THR are afraid of the giant known as Harvey Weinstein? Or, in the
case of THR, do they honestly feel there's no here here? (We know Variety doesn’t
care about such things —see their continued hack Sony coverage [yes, those words are in the correct order], I'm pretty
sure they’re still reprinting e-mails about absolutely nothing on their home page.) But, of course, if we really want the story to blow up, if we really want to suss out the truth, or some variation on it, we should make one more adjustment to this image...
Yes, to ensure the media covers the lies and exploits the truth -- because goodness knows that uncovering one lie in a sea of misogyny is of the utmost importance -- we'll add just one more finishing touch to get everybody's attention...
This should do it:
Maybe now people will talk about it.
-30-
Photos used for parody purposes.
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